Dishonoured

I’ll be honest, I never got far through Dishonoured. I started it several times, and each time something annoyed me enough not to want to go back to it. Although, probably at least two of those times it was the overlong opening sequence that most put me off. If I have to sit through one more cutscene where I’m supposedly being taken to my execution or life imprisonment, I will despair at the quality of writing originality in the industry.

In my first playthrough, the furthest I got was the distillery. It was the first proper level part of Dishonoured, which is linear but partially open-world, with side-quests. I fannied about for a bit, using my magic to shoot across buildings in the steampunk sort of environment, with mediaeval fears of the plague crossed with Victorian technology, Gothic and Middle-Ages architecture, with French Revolution army costumes (think Les Misérables) among the array of creepy cloaks and masks. It fits together remarkably well, making an eerily  atmospheric game.

Once I got into a proper level situation, I started to notice a problem right away. It’s a stealth game in large part, but the stealth options suck. Your most common means of stealthy, non-lethal invasion involved pouncing someone from behind and slowly strangling them. This is extremely slow, and gets dull within about four pounces.

Mirror’s Edge

Mirror’s Edge is a puzzle-platformer, the mechanics of which are based around parkour (free running), i.e., using city infrastructure as an urban obstacle course. You play Faith, a runner who gets embroiled in a conspiracy and must scuttle across rooftops to evade the authorities while uncovering the truth.

Story

It’s a conspiracy thriller, told part in-game using radio communication and part with cutscenes, usually involving tough people talking about how they Godda Do What they Godda Do. Adequate if you like that sort of thing. There aren’t any surprises here.

Graphics

It has a basic 3D style which is already starting to look a bit dated, but not so you’d be driven to distraction. It isn’t the most polished or visually striking of games. Interestingly, Mirror’s Edge has inverted the old style of the SNES games which used more realistic graphics (sometimes actual film) for cutscenes to make up for the blocky game animation. Mirror’s Edge has manga-esque cartoon for its cutscenes, which have a more retro look than the game itself. Since Mirror’s Edge is in first-person perspective, this means that you don’t see the image of Faith depicted in the box art until the very end.

Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell

This is part of a series of four reviews examining the specific pros and cons for each of the four sixth-gen console games in the franchise Splinter Cell. The games in chronological order are: Splinter Cell, Pandora Tomorrow, Chaos Theory and Double Agent.

Splinter Cell ranks number 3 of 4 in my recommendation. It is significantly better than Double Agent but a little worse than Pandora Tomorrow.

Splinter Cell: Double Agent

This is part of a series of four reviews examining the specific pros and cons for each of the four sixth-gen console games in the franchise Splinter Cell. The games in chronological order are: Splinter Cell, Pandora Tomorrow, Chaos Theory and Double Agent.

Of the four, Double Agent is the clear loser in my estimation.

Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory

This is part of a series of four reviews examining the specific pros and cons for each of the four sixth-gen console games in the franchise Splinter Cell. The games in chronological order are: Splinter Cell, Pandora Tomorrow, Chaos Theory and Double Agent.

Of the four, Chaos Theory is the clear winner in my estimation.

Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow

This is part of a series of four reviews examining the specific pros and cons for each of the four sixth-gen console games in the franchise Splinter Cell. The games in chronological order are: Splinter Cell, Pandora Tomorrow, Chaos Theory and Double Agent.

Pandora Tomorrow ranks number 2 of 4 in my recommendation. It is significantly worse than Chaos Theory but a little better than the original Splinter Cell.

Pokemon Black / White

Close, but just falling short of the mark: 4/5

Pokemon. A franchise you either politely and determinedly ignore, like a yelling homeless man on the London Underground, or one which you follow with an insane glint in your eye and a fire in your heart that may well turn you into that yelling homeless man on the London Underground. I fall into the latter category, I fear. An avid Pokemon fan since the age of eight when I stole my brother’s version of Blue and used his Venusaur to destroy a Persian, I am hooked and lost to the world.

The franchise has continued, rightly or wrongly, for fifteen years, spinning off shows and toys and comic books, plus a whole host of other gimmicks, interesting for five minutes and hanging around for just as long. Yes, at one point I really did want a Pokemon themed N64. But we won’t talk about that. After all, Pokemon is a collector’s game; now with 650 little critters to collect, I’d say you’d have to be dangerously obsessed to keep on going.